Again

To a friend who is more than a friend;

the one with all the answers life's hardest questions,

and the one simultaneously lost in them all.

A friend often closer in spirit than in flesh.

Perhaps, it is this closeness that perpetuates such blindness

to all the signs and subtleties of your obvious pain;

a failure on my behalf.

It kills me to know

that you were hurting so badly,

that you will never see yourself

the way I see you,

that you will never know how important you are

to me

and just how significant you are

in this world.

If any light is to come from this darkness,

it is that I am glad,

glad our last text was

not our last text ever;

glad the last time I saw you smile was

not the last time I will ever see your beautiful smile;

glad the last time I heard you laugh was

not the last time I will ever hear that sweet, quirky laugh.

I am glad, no thankful,

that I will get to

hug you and

hold you and

see you smile and

hear you laugh

again.