Again

Tue, 11/07/2017 - 18:12 -- racschi

I hate you.

The thought of you makes me insane.

The way you manipulate when you look at me with eyelids heavy and lips curled.

The way you draw me in, make me care, then take my heart and grind it up into a million pieces.

I hate the way you flirt, the way your toes curl when anyone with a figure looks your way.

I know you excite when she teases you with her eyes, the way you urn for her to take you.

The way you sulk about like a cat in heat.

The way you flip your hair, the way you gaze at his lips when he leans in closer.

The way you lead them on in the same way you do with me.

I hate how you manipulate me the same way you manipulate those foolish boys.

The way you take advantage of my weak mind.

I think you care.

I convince myself that I like you even though deep down I know the truth, that I can see the real you and I know that you never cared and I can’t stand you.

I know how twisted and cruel you are, you repulse me.

God knows why I’m hooked on toxicity, she is my bride and she is eternally by my side, ’till death do us part.

I hate the way you take and never give back.

I pour my soul into you and it’s never enough.

And now, my soul is running dry, and I don’t how much longer I can keep giving.

Every day I wake up and think to myself that if one more person hurts me, it’s over.

Because you taught me that trust is dead, that love is fake.

Because you led me to believe that everything you did was earned, that I was worthy of your poison.

That you did it because you love me, but darling that’s not love.

Loving is leaving, because only then can the healing begin.

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Love is not frivolous, it’s ugly and it hurts but it’s worth it, because only when you hurt can you begin to understand the sacrifice and unconditionality of real, honest love.

This poem is about: 
Me

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