Again

I sit here panicking. 

It's happening again.

I don't know what to do,

How to react,

Who to turn to.

How did I let this happen?

How do I get it back to normal?

Is there even a normal.

I noticed something different.

From the first thing you said to me,

As we kept talking. 

You seem different

And I seem repetitive.

I've said that that before haven't I? 

I say that about each one.

They all say the same things. 

And then I'm back in the hole

I thought I just got out of.

So are you really different?

Or just another number. 

Another bad lie. 

As I sit here and wonder if I actually miss you.

If I actually like you. 

I have to ask myself if it's really true.