Against the Wind

My own mother did not love me. She told me this in slurred words the night my father accused her of an affair. I did not look like the rest of our family. My hair was blonde and my skin much fairer- he could not accept me as his own. My mother's boyfriend told me I should run away. My mother could not afford to support three children along with her alcoholism and gambling. He told me I was not wanted anyway. My first boyfriend told me not to scream. He said this over the blade he had pressed to my throat because I told him I wasn't ready. It did not matter if I was ready- he was. The psychiatrist told me I was troubled. She looked at the scars on my wrists with disgust, told me she could not help me, but a prescription could. I could not afford the bottle of pills. My boss told me I was no longer needed. Times were different now, I was obsolete. I could take another position, but I would never advance. I have told myself I am strong. I am independent. I am worthy of love. I am capable of great things. I grew strong. I became independent. I found love. I achieved great things. I found myself. Many storms have beaten me down. But the wind and rain have shaped me. And I am a kite, and against the wind I rise.