Alcoholism

lying here makes me think 

about everything I could've done 

if I was better

maybe I could've saved us 

but I wasn't 

I wasn't good enough 

the alcohol took over your life 

and slowly destroyed mine

while you were absent 

I was there

I was the parent 

as I was only a child myself

I took care of all the empty beer cans 

I took over your responsibilities 

I took care of us 

I made you look good 

I had every opportunity to speak up 

when they came to my school to ask questions 

when my aunts would ask 

I lied

but isn't that what we all do 

go to school 

go to work, the store 

don't we all put on a happy face and make everything out to be perfect?

I told them it was all okay 

that's what I saw my Mom do the night before when the cops came 

I was just trying to get her approval 

I so desperately wanted

isn't that what we all want?

maybe if I would've told them the truth 

we could've been saved

I wouldn't be lying here thinking about it 

who knows where I would be or what I would be doing 

but the rehab made it all go away 

you're supposedly better now 

we're all just supposed to forget