Alive

I know that I am alive. A part of me died the moment I stepped into that tub. The part of me that didn't believe that I would/could do it. The part that thought someone couldn’t be that beat down. I foolishly thought that I had risen from my pit of darkness, that was as far as I could go. Lying to myself I dug the ditch deeper. I didn’t realize what I was doing. I truly believe that I was one of the ones that made it. Now I fear what will happen when they tell me no more at the pharmacy. My safety net was slowly being cut away. How long before it becomes a noose?