Alive There.

by Emma-lou

April 5, 2016

My mouth-

It stutters

My voice-

It cracks.

But on paper-

My words come

Clear

And even

And lovely

No chance for a shaking voice-

For shaking hands-

When words are written

And not spoken.

My world is busy,

Messy,

Terrifying,

But not the worlds I build.

They are lovely,

And brave,

And clean-

And happily ever after.

Anxiety sits in my stomach

Like something alive-

Trying to get free.

I am afraid it will kill me if it does.

But with my fingers sure and steady,

The even click of keys,

The monster

Curls up

And purrs

And sleeps.

We are not living who live in fear,

And fear consumes my every breath.

Except-

That quiet rhythm-

The click of keys,

The glide of ink,

The smudge of lead,

The forming of words,

Of worlds,

Of lives-

Fearlessly

Endlessly

Beautifully.

I live only there.

Fear cannot find me there.

Anxiety is a kitten there.

My breath is even there.

My mind is calm there.

And I am alive.

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