All I ever wanted was

All I ever wanted was to be part of your world mom . Do you think you could ever love me as much as the drugs you take could you ever look at me and say that my perfect daughter? If I could make one wish it would be to loved by you . You gave up on me a long time ago . I feel like I’m hanging off a cliff and you put me in it . I’m like a painting on the wall you can see me but you don’t want it . If I could change I would I’m looking into the mirror wonder why you could love me ? Was it because I’m not enough I can’t make you happy like pills and drugs can . I’m screaming help but you can’t . Why you have to walk out on me like I was nothing I wish I could wake up with you and my siblings oh how much life would be green and blue . I never had a home but there is no turning back I might as well just put the gun to my head the gun of all your words and lies it would be enough to hurt me . It's like playing Russian roulette and you're holding the gun and I'm the only person it's pointing to .