All I Need

It hurts so much to know that I'm at the bottom of the pot. He chooses everyone before me But still uses me to get his nut I let him because it gives me a high That only lasts while he takes me for a ride. It hurts sooooooo deep inside I know it's not fair I know he doesn't care Why do I put myself in these situations That just ends up having me crying I thought I found my superman But it seems like I found my kryptonite Thought he was that someone I needed to help me build Become stronger But he Just makes me weaker. To the point I don't believe in myself anymore What I'm capable of... I completely lost sight of who I am I thought I was healing a wound But I just made it worse. Lord knows I don't want him out my world Just the thought alone makes me weak. But how can I keep something I need so bad that hurts me at the same time? All I really need Lord is someone to hold me and tell me it's gonna be alright. That's all I ask for .. To be held.. Protected. The past two years changed me drastically. To the point I'm legit scared of what life is willing to give me. Sitting in the dark at night Crying .. Wondering what's next. Holding everything inside because I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy. I can't trust anyone I have no one All I have is the million and one thoughts in my head That keeps haunting me & won't let me get ahead. I remember being happy... Feels like it hasn't come by my way in so long. I'm not bipolar.. I'm not crazy. I just have some deep wounds that needs healing. Pain so deep it makes me scare the people close to me... But all I need is love.. I just want him to love me