All I need

The house is on fire,

The smoke and fiery embers confuse my mind,

I glance searching for one object.

one object to tie me to this life.

the life that is being licked at by a fiery monster.

The plane is crashing.

clutching to the arm rest with one hand,

I search for something with the other.

Something unknown to myself,

just something.

an item that I could lock my sanity in,

or my fear.

something to remind me that I am okay,

that I will be okay.

The boat has sunk.

drifting aimlessly on a raft,

I quickly realize my problem.

I am alone.

I don’t have anything of mine,

my own.

An object to remind me that I am human .

Not a wild animal searching for food .

or a force of nature trapped in the corner.

I try to imagine now,

What was I reaching for?

What would now be in my hand,

If the brilliant flames had moved slower?

If time had frozen for just a moment?

If the boat had not been engulfed so quickly?

what was I reaching for?

What would have sated that unrelenting hunger for an object.

any object.

I stare intently at the sky.

the sun has vanished and left me alone.

lying contently in thought.

Staring at the sky I think back to school.

The teacher lecturing mindlessly about the romans,

How they used the stars as an eye test .

early humans who thought we were the center of the universe.

adventurers and explorers who used the stars as guides.

a magical place one found by following the second star to the right.

old poems whispered as a child,

forgotten memories and experiences.

I know what I was reaching for

I was reaching for my mind.

my sanity,

my lake of knowledge.

my fountain of truth.

a place where lessons from throughout history have been placed.

Every book, movie, experience, idea.

placed in one neat basket woven by the human experience.

the combined knowledge of a people,

about the universe around them.

of places we will never go,

and questions we will never answer,

Alone,

and all I want is an object.

To keep my sanity and my memories,

my reasoning and intelligence,

my personality and my history.

Not a book or a person .

I am alone,

and all I need is my mind.