All I Wanted
all i wanted
was for you to say it to my face
that you didn't love me anymore
all i wanted was a real apology
and to know that you still gave a damn
but you waited too long and
i admit i was wrong to try to
force it from your throat
but what could i do when you
never even told me we were done
not in person. you never said
the words aloud.
so i lashed out with my
whips and teeth and nails and claws and
fought back as hard as my
love for you would let me and i
tried to break you back because i wanted
you to suffer the way you had made me suffer.
i wanted to destroy you like i was destroyed at your hands,
sacrificed to honesty and the boy you love now.
and i know you hate me now and im the
annoying little fly buzzing in your ear, the
thorn in your side that doesnt hurt anymore but
im still so broken and i see you
everywhere. in the halls, in class, at lunch...
you are everywhere in my mind and i cant
escape you if i wanted to which i dont because
im still so in love that it breaks me every day and
im sorry that im not brave enough to say this to you so
im writing about it and hoping someone
shows it to you and im sorry that i hurt you and
im sorry
time for your apology.