All I Wanted

all i wanted

was for you to say it to my face

that you didn't love me anymore

all i wanted was a real apology

and to know that you still gave a damn

but you waited too long and 

i admit i was wrong to try to 

force it from your throat

but what could i do when you

never even told me we were done

not in person. you never said

the words aloud.

so i lashed out with my 

whips and teeth and nails and claws and 

fought back as hard as my 

love for you would let me and i

tried to break you back because i wanted

you to suffer the way you had made me suffer.

i wanted to destroy you like i was destroyed at your hands,

sacrificed to honesty and the boy you love now.

and i know you hate me now and im the

annoying little fly buzzing in your ear, the

thorn in your side that doesnt hurt anymore but

im still so broken and i see you

everywhere. in the halls, in class, at lunch...

you are everywhere in my mind and i cant

escape you if i wanted to which i dont because

im still so in love that it breaks me every day and

im sorry that im not brave enough to say this to you so

im writing about it and hoping someone 

shows it to you and im sorry that i hurt you and 

im sorry

time for your apology.