Is All Lost?

When one passes on in the cycle of life

Those who are left behind, cannot let go

Left within the empty void 

Where days seem like ages

Time has never stopped 

But I had, in the midst of despair

“Your Grandma died in the hospital.

She was hit by a car yesterday.

Today she passed away.” 

This news sunk in 

In bed:

I laid, staring through the window

Darkness surrounding me

Softly quietness befalls 

The sky outside is dark with an orange hue

Magnificent, Mysterious, Dreamy

This she can no longer see

This no longer shareable

Tears begin to roll down my face

I blink but do not fight back

I release the grief and moan

For she deserves the tears

She did many things for me

Yet I did nothing for her

She gave openly

Yet I took and emptied her

A crushed soul

Recalling the taste and smell of her signature soup

Feeling of love and warmth flowing down my throat

The taste and smell of home

Emotions plundered

Remembering when I called out to her

For as long as I knew, Grandma was always there for me

I relied on her

Is all lost?

The first person I relied on in the world

Gone

Not given a chance to say goodbye

If only I heeded the saying:

“Only when it is truly gone, 

Do you know how important it is.”

Thank you Grandma for showing me

That I need to treasure the present

Appreciate the people now

Appreciate what is here

Learn to love when I could

Learn to give what I could

Before it is too late

Before regret takes those that I love

As a kid I took and received

Grandma allowed me to understand

The importance of those around me

The value of caring and having people I love

I’ve grown because I had new shoes to fill

I now know how to give rather than take