To All the Monsters

I'm sorry

I'm sorry you think you can hurt me

That you can somehow reach through the dark and grab me

You can touch my dreams, but you will never have my future

You can scratch at my walls and rake claws down my skin all you want

You will never hurt me again.

I'm sorry I gave you so much power

Because you seem to think it's yours when all along, I owned it

I own my fear and my pain and my body and my mind

But I led you on

And now you think you own me

But you don't own a single piece of me

I'm sorry you think you have a home here

Because my soul isn't your hiding place anymore

And my mind is far too clean

I've cleared out my closet and swept under the bed and dusted beneath the stairs

I'm afraid there's no room for you here

And maybe you never belonged here, even when we both thought you did

Lastly, I'm sorry you have been hurt

I could see it in your eyes when you thought the only one in danger was me

You looked afraid and vulnerable

And the words in your mouth seemed a little foreign

It was like you were set on repeat, just spewing words that normally were meant for you

It was like you were used to being on the other side of our relationship

Sometimes you seemed to wait for the day where I would rise up and hurt you back

And though I can sympathize with you, I can't let you control me

I'm just sorry whoever they are still controls you.