All the Things I Haven't Told You

I don’t know how to tell you
That we’re more different than you think.
We were much more similar before,
But in coming to terms with myself I think I’ve lost you.
Things Have Changed
             But not in a way I can really describe.
             I mean I know you’ve noticed -
             You’ve told me you have -
             But when I’m hurt I retract
             And then you get annoyed.
             Just because I know Rain Man is about growth and personal change
             But that doesn’t make the beginning hurt any less
             Yes, hurt.
             The way they treat him is the way I get treated when my brain decides to stop working. 
             (At least it feels that way)
             Excuse me if I’d rather be reading.
I Know That You Want To Help
             And I know that you’re trying,
             But the more you tell people, “I knew he was a guy,”
             The more it makes me hurt.
             Because you didn’t know I was a guy because I was,
             You knew I was a guy because if I wasn’t a girl, that was what I had to be
             And after I came out you used me. 
             And erased my judgement of myself
             Because now that you “understand” nonbinary genders, you can accept my date the way you could never accept me.
I Don’t Know Why I’m Like This.
             I really don’t.
             I’ve had a string of really bad days,
             And as I sit back and think,
             You’ve caused a bunch of them and then berated me for saying
             "I’m tired"
             "I’m sick"
             "I didn’t sleep much last night"
             Because I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you that I just needed an easy day
             Without getting blamed for the chemical balance of my brain,
             Without being yelled at because I don’t want to watch your stupid misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic comedy shows because they stress me out.
And I’m Really Sorry.
I love you, 
But I just need some time alone.