I’ve never felt so lost,
Nor felt so helpless, alone, angry and frustrated.
Nor have I ever cried so much, or as often.
Never have I asked “why” so many times.
I’ve never been so weak.
I’ve never told myself to be strong so many times, yet cry anyway.
Why has someone who was once filled with so much joy
Now shrink into her own shadow to cry?
Why does it feel like all happiness has escaped,
Like the rush of air from a deflated balloon?
Why does the shattering of glass sound so much like my broken heart?
How can everyone around me smile and laugh while I hurt?
How can everything that ever meant anything to me be taken,
So easily and quickly?
I wonder all these things, as plump hot tears roll down my face.
The only solace I find now is in my sleep,
Where I can turn my head from the pain I can’t bear to face.