Almost Killed Me

It took me a week but I finally managed to stand up

I thought I might die it got me so dizzy

For I was sitting in the scraps of a book written by a blind man

The ending is imagined but never found until it’s there

I felt out for it but only found another hallway

Another door to where the next scribbled, gnarled Polaroid was hanging by a thread


Charred pieces of barbecue litter ash trays across this town and in them a single thread

Pool parties and dancehalls make room for memories to turn into habits

Who needs original sin? Live in the moment

Better yet, take a Polaroid. It’ll last longer

Hopefully it’ll last longer than that cigarette

Even if it doesn’t, a cross around your neck might. At least that’s what I’ve been told

 

Most people just hold their breath and do what they’re told

Funnily enough, I don’t remember ever breathing in. Certainly not to dunk my head

That happened when I was on the floor still

That happened before I even sat up. Maybe I’m wrong

All standing up really means is stuffing things down your sweatpants

Maybe all that garbage will let you sit down again for a while. If that’s what you want

 

 

Well isn’t that what everyone wants?

To sit down and just think? Shame it doesn’t work like that

You can’t think when you’re always looking up at things. Cuts off the circulation

Hell, I still use the “garbage” I’m lambasting

It gives a nice break from trying to keep one’s balance

Eventually I’ll steady. Unlike some people I know, who are just waiting to fall

 

People I know that are playing games just for fun. Just for the chance to leave next Fall

I wish that was all it was but mistakes were made

Circumstantial evidence of a confession made in a time when no one will hear

Screaming at the top of the lungs to no avail

Living it all like it’s your very first fever dream

If it passes I’ll be glad, but something tells me it won’t. It’s just not a reality

 

Stumbling through an alley filled with Polaroids, you can learn a lot about reality

There’s not light at the end of the tunnel so much as here is a spotlight

Just a place to take a load off

Because the alleys in this city are miles long and lifetimes wide

You can scratch and scream but no one will listen

They just don’t want to hear their own words from someone else’s mouth

 

The eyes of a god and a liar’s mouth

That’s the thread that you need to remember; the one I told you about

Reality almost killed me. I’m just thankful I stood up in time

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