Almost Killed Me
It took me a week but I finally managed to stand up
I thought I might die it got me so dizzy
For I was sitting in the scraps of a book written by a blind man
The ending is imagined but never found until it’s there
I felt out for it but only found another hallway
Another door to where the next scribbled, gnarled Polaroid was hanging by a thread
Charred pieces of barbecue litter ash trays across this town and in them a single thread
Pool parties and dancehalls make room for memories to turn into habits
Who needs original sin? Live in the moment
Better yet, take a Polaroid. It’ll last longer
Hopefully it’ll last longer than that cigarette
Even if it doesn’t, a cross around your neck might. At least that’s what I’ve been told
Most people just hold their breath and do what they’re told
Funnily enough, I don’t remember ever breathing in. Certainly not to dunk my head
That happened when I was on the floor still
That happened before I even sat up. Maybe I’m wrong
All standing up really means is stuffing things down your sweatpants
Maybe all that garbage will let you sit down again for a while. If that’s what you want
Well isn’t that what everyone wants?
To sit down and just think? Shame it doesn’t work like that
You can’t think when you’re always looking up at things. Cuts off the circulation
Hell, I still use the “garbage” I’m lambasting
It gives a nice break from trying to keep one’s balance
Eventually I’ll steady. Unlike some people I know, who are just waiting to fall
People I know that are playing games just for fun. Just for the chance to leave next Fall
I wish that was all it was but mistakes were made
Circumstantial evidence of a confession made in a time when no one will hear
Screaming at the top of the lungs to no avail
Living it all like it’s your very first fever dream
If it passes I’ll be glad, but something tells me it won’t. It’s just not a reality
Stumbling through an alley filled with Polaroids, you can learn a lot about reality
There’s not light at the end of the tunnel so much as here is a spotlight
Just a place to take a load off
Because the alleys in this city are miles long and lifetimes wide
You can scratch and scream but no one will listen
They just don’t want to hear their own words from someone else’s mouth
The eyes of a god and a liar’s mouth
That’s the thread that you need to remember; the one I told you about
Reality almost killed me. I’m just thankful I stood up in time