Alone

Why do I feel so alone?

I know people in the world feel the same way I do,

But I wonder if they understand what it is.

I do research on it constantly.

I help people,

But I can't help myself.

I had an episode yesterday

It didn't hit very hard or go away because I was with someone

I love that person

But during this stage my emotions don't show

I don't feel love, or happiness

I don't even feel pain or sadness

I just feel darkness

I feel dead

I want to leave

But I don't

It is so hard

I'm trying to stop this episode from hitting hard

But the longer I try to stall the longer it stays

And the harder the pain will be

The stronger the blow will be because I'm trying to fight it to early

I need it to hit, so I can fight it

And make it go away for another month

Or a week

Or maybe a day

Maybe even a couple of hours

But I don't want it to come back

Well too late it has all ready came