Alone

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

Society tells me to be with a girl

But I’m attracted to guys

Some say it’s all in my mind

That something inside me is wrong

I’m trying to be normal

Dating my best friend, a girl

I love her, but not like that

She’s more like my sister

How do I tell her my biggest secret?

Should I tell her?

My vision starts to blur

As my eyes fill with tears

She always told me she wanted a gay best friend

No longer pretending to be someone I’m not

Can’t second guess myself

I take that leap and tell her

Afraid of her reaction

 

We don’t talk anymore

Now I’m completely alone

Unloved and unlovable

Just a blob that sits around all day

Searching for a tiny glimpse of happiness

I retreat into my fantasy world

When I’m on the computer I can be anyone

Brave knight, male model, anyone but myself

Someone catches my interest

He is thirty-eight, twenty-two years older than me

But he understands

We talk all the time

I want him to be my significant other

Soon, he ignores me more and more

My heart is crushed

 

Another break-up

I will be alone forever

No one will love me

My best friend is back in my life

She is the only good thing now

Sometimes I think of ending it

But she always knows

Right before it happens, I hear from her

Just checking up on me

Making me happy; making me laugh

She helps me through it all

 

I’ve met a guy named Tim

He makes me feel loved

I love that feeling and now I’m not alone

But that’s all I like

He gives me the cold shoulder all the time

He gets mad at me daily and I don’t know why

I’m always apologizing because I want the fighting to end

I walk on eggshells when we talk

I want to end things

But he might get mad and break my heart

When he leaves I’ll be all alone forever

Hopefully someday I’ll move far away

So I can say goodbye

And find someone else

Comments

aburnell13

Nothing is wrong with you. You can't rely on other people to be your source of happiness. Keep your head up and do not ever

EVER

EVER

EVER

think about suicide again. There are people who love you, some whom you haven't met yet, that would struggle to wake up every morning because they lost you. But no one can love you if you don't love yourself first. Do not give up. Please listen.

Madi.Porter.

This isn't about me. It's about my best friend that's gone thorough a lot. He was just my inspiration for this poem. Thanks for your concern though! :)

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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