Alone
Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve
Society tells me to be with a girl
But I’m attracted to guys
Some say it’s all in my mind
That something inside me is wrong
I’m trying to be normal
Dating my best friend, a girl
I love her, but not like that
She’s more like my sister
How do I tell her my biggest secret?
Should I tell her?
My vision starts to blur
As my eyes fill with tears
She always told me she wanted a gay best friend
No longer pretending to be someone I’m not
Can’t second guess myself
I take that leap and tell her
Afraid of her reaction
We don’t talk anymore
Now I’m completely alone
Unloved and unlovable
Just a blob that sits around all day
Searching for a tiny glimpse of happiness
I retreat into my fantasy world
When I’m on the computer I can be anyone
Brave knight, male model, anyone but myself
Someone catches my interest
He is thirty-eight, twenty-two years older than me
But he understands
We talk all the time
I want him to be my significant other
Soon, he ignores me more and more
My heart is crushed
Another break-up
I will be alone forever
No one will love me
My best friend is back in my life
She is the only good thing now
Sometimes I think of ending it
But she always knows
Right before it happens, I hear from her
Just checking up on me
Making me happy; making me laugh
She helps me through it all
I’ve met a guy named Tim
He makes me feel loved
I love that feeling and now I’m not alone
But that’s all I like
He gives me the cold shoulder all the time
He gets mad at me daily and I don’t know why
I’m always apologizing because I want the fighting to end
I walk on eggshells when we talk
I want to end things
But he might get mad and break my heart
When he leaves I’ll be all alone forever
Hopefully someday I’ll move far away
So I can say goodbye
And find someone else
Comments
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Nothing is wrong with you. You can't rely on other people to be your source of happiness. Keep your head up and do not ever
EVER
EVER
EVER
think about suicide again. There are people who love you, some whom you haven't met yet, that would struggle to wake up every morning because they lost you. But no one can love you if you don't love yourself first. Do not give up. Please listen.