Alone

Mon, 12/11/2017 - 23:52 -- Setua

My entire life, there is one thing that was drilled into my miserable brain.

“Bottling emotions is wrong.

But let me make something clear.

Bottling emotions is only wrong when it’s an opinion I actually want to hear.

If it conflicts with something I believe, then you can take it and bury it six feet deep.”

“You need to deal with these negative thoughts on your own” they say.

But still, bottling emotions is wrong.

You leave me alone in the dark with an empty receptacle and overflowing emotions,

But still, bottling emotions is wrong.

You leave me with no way to handle my hypersensitive brain,

But the way I handle it is wrong.

“You are too old to be crying. Man up, and face the world” He says to me.

I think you and I have very different opinions of what this world truly is.

I see this world as a cold, dark place where the ravens nest,

And you see it as a silly rollercoaster, strapped in with your safety vest.

I will not pretend to understand your reasoning.

I will not pretend to agree.

I just want to make it clear that there has to be an in-between,

I can not do this alone.

But now, I have some questions of my own.

Who are you to tell me how to be me?

Where did you get your degree in psychology?

You know nothing of my mind or its inner workings.

I will never say I know anything of you, either.

I just want you to know that I am eager to try and rebuild what was broken,

Enter a new chapter where we can forget what was spoken.

However.

This all relies on one lynchpin,

A 180,

A tailspin on attitude.

I can not do this alone.

And for the record,

Just because I want to rebuild,

It doesn’t mean that I trust you,

I have been burned too many times because of a separate point of view,

I want nothing to do with the bullshit that you might spew forth from your vile mouth.

Now you have me second guessing,

Wondering if this truly was the best of ideas.

Maybe I should just leave you to rot,

Maybe I should make amends,

Just know that these feelings are too much to comprehend,

I can’t do this alone.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

Royce Duke

Dope.

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