Alone

Laying down on the couch just thinking about life. Time flys by but it feels like an eternity, they say every second counts but what if that second isn't worth counting? 17 years of my life has been spent all alone...it sometimes feels as if nobody ever cares nobody ever realizes how I feel! I always wished for a happy family but I never got what I wished for, I always got the total opposite. Life is just a deck of cards and the dealer is still unknown. I'm sitting here wondering if anyone ever hears my cries, heard my screams? Sometimes i get feed up with life and think about ending it forever; but then I look back at all those faces that love and care about me and once again I go back to the same old life style. A fake smile, fake life, fake answers to fake questions. If only I had a map of my life then maybe I could succeed at unlocking the mysteries I hold inside! So once again i'm going back to my life and playing by the rules, carrying a fake smile and saying everything's going to be fine when you know it's never true.

-Ashley Eileen Chandra