Alone in a Cage

So. It's been a while

A little too long
For others it's the perfect amount of time
but for me I can't stand the wait
I have such hopes
And fears
Like everyone else

But the fear I dread most
Is to be alone
I feel like that's common. That fear  
being alone
but for me, even though I've grown comfortable in being alone
i no longer want to stay there
I'm tired of it
there was a short time where I wasn't

It was sweet, spicy, bitter, warm, cold, gray, and blue
and then I went back to be alone
and then.... I became lonely, and it broke me.
I was lonely for a long time. I hated the cage I was in.

So I changed it. Decorated it in various colors. No one visited. In fact, people turned away. I came to realize it wasn't the decorations. it was my words and my mouth telling them I didn't need their help. even though inside my brain I was screaming for a savior.

Now I feel comfortable in my cage. I feel that my words are inviting and kind. But still no one seems to visit. 
So, what do I want? What do I really want? Validation? No. 
I think it's love. To be loved and to love someone