Alone with Company

The party rages and the drinks flow, the room smoke filled,

Everyone laughs and smiles, stories are shared and cups spilled,

Challenges made in jest and tale weavers are grilled,

Some one brings in more spirits to be chilled,

But I sit here surrounded yet alone.

I observe all that is around me, a room so full yet empty to me,

And all I can do is wait for them to notice me, for some one to see,

Yet I feel normal in this space secluded and free,

Inside I secretly long to exist with them, to be,

Simply to be something, a friend or foe, I just want to be.

Despite all the socializing and sound I still feel the silence,

And in that silence I feel the static crawl up my spine,

It rips into me and rages in my mind and body with unknown violence,

Through it all I still smile and claim to be fine, 

And no one knows the better because I won't ever stop the lie.