always

always attached. always broken. always searching. 

my emotions get the best of me as each man enters and quickly leaves my life. I guess that’s my fault, though. my fault for thinking I could maybe find a meaningful relationship on a shitty app. of course, I’ve had some fun with it, with one-times and a couple friendships, but this gaping hole in my heart cannot be filled by superficial love and small talk. I know I shouldn’t blame music, but who wouldn’t feel empty after listening to Keaton Henson or Daughter? My feelings have gained the reigns of my mind and I’ve lost control of my thoughts. I can’t deny my excitement when his name glows from the backlight of my phone, and I know he doesn’t experience the same delight from my own. I guess that’s the worst part. not the painful knowledge of this stupid wishful thinking, but the fact that I’m living in the very cliche I’ve laughed at in the past.