Am I?

I am…

a baby, drooling and giggling all through the day

a skinny toddler with pigtails and scratched up cheeks

a preschooler, sliding down an indoor slide

a five year old with bangs I cut myself

a private school child, sleeping in mass and doodling during religion

sleeping

doodling

sleeping, doodling

I am… not exactly what my parents wanted me to be

running down the steps on the last day of school

changing elementaries and loosing all my friends

starting over new, in public school, scared as a mouse

making friends with everyone, like many kids do

smiling in school photos

laughing on the playground

smiling

laughing

smiling, laughing

I am… as happy as a child can be

a middle-schooler, following the rules

a cloud team member, in an exclusive smart child group

a “genuis”, who doesn’t need to study

a cocky child,

too smart to care

too tired to care

too cool to care

I am… on a downward spiral

a high schooler

a below average student

a reckless child

a terrible daughter

a horrible sister

a thief

stealing

stealing

caught

I am… disgusted with myself

tiptoeing around my parents

babysitting to pay my fines

learning how much you can love a child that isn’t yours

picking up the messy pieces I’d made

smiling again

changing schools, hoping to make things better

outgoing, making friends

getting perfect grades in way too easy classes

regretting the switch

regret, regret, regret

I am… taking one step backward but two steps ahead

quiet as a mouse

happy

getting the grades I deserve

smiling

reading whenever I can

laughing

laughing

laughing

I am… in my last year of highschool

I am… thinking about my future

I am… happy with who I am

I am…