Am I beautiful?
I know you tell me everyday
That I’m more radiant than the sun
But I don’t believe it for a second
That I’m even remotely attractive
Am I smart?
I know you say to me all the time
That my mind is like a beauty divine
But I don’t acknowledge any of it
That I even know much of anything
Am I worth it?
You tell me that I’m more priceless than a diamond
But diamonds are everywhere
On every hand
And around every neck
So, truly, I’m priceless
Because, really, I’m worthless
Am I alive?
I know that these visions, this life, it has to be real
But it doesn’t feel real
It feels like a dream
Because it doesn’t make sense
And I have no control
Am I loved?
I see these people who say
I mean the world to them
But what world do they speak of?
Certainly not the world where
I’m left alone to be me
No, they mean a world where I’m their puppet, their slave
A victim to their falsed kindness
Am I me?
They say that me is all I can be
Why is my “me”
Not good enough for thee?
Am I perfect?
I am surrounded by those who look up to me so
But I don’t understand why I stand not on a pedestal
But I lay on a bed of thorns
My body broken
And nearly dead
Am I really this blind?
To not see the torment that blankets my mind?
Like a grand plan that I did not devise
Why do my eyes see the world through despise?
You say that I’m fine
But I’m really not fine!
At dinner, I dine on my sins and my crimes
I stand out of line
And I fall every time
Life, it used to shine
But, now, it’s a lie
So leave me alone
So that I may soon die.