Am I even doing enough?

I try to show I love you I know I'm not open to being lovey dovey But I do try I want to buy you things Hug you and shower you with affection I see something and it reminds me of you I want so many memories with you But ... Today ... It was before we had work I went over to your place feeling in a mood I try to get your attention But you went to shower instead I was ok with it I started to watch small clips One came out with men dancing It just reminded me of how much I missed going out to dance You were next to me and I snapped out of my memories I face you and try again to get your attention You seem sad and say I only act this way after watching hot guys It hurt me to my soul .... Is that really what you think? That I need another man to get me in the mood? Do I really come off as that shallow? Do I not do enough to convince you your the only one for me? Do I need to just get off everything like I usto? Should I have no life? Do I need to go back to that room I fought so hard to get out from? Is it me? I cried Hiding or rather holding back my tears We had work soon I don't want them to see me down I don't want them to question us Am I even doing enough?