Am I lost..... in depression?

Inside a deep, dark hole my dreams were swallowed,
Because depression clouded my brain and suicidal thoughts followed.
Ugly, bi, thin, tall, stupid, skinny, black...
The insults destroyed the confidence I now lack.

As fear clouded over my desire to live,
My presence on earth felt like it was no longer something to give,
Sobbing with my head down because I couldn't forgive,
Couldn't forget, couldn't fight, couldn't breathe, eat, cry, scream...
I was losing my sight of wanting to live... AGAIN.

How do I continue to live feeling mentally ill?
Medications and psychotherapies, is what the doctors feel...
Would be the only thing to instill...
In the mind that wants to kill...
Because she wasn't introduced to the process she needed to heal.

Instead she was introduced to the method of overdose...A Pill?!
Gosh! No luck reality wasn't real...ANYMORE.