Am I rushing into things

We're getting married in a couple of months I'm so excited So nervous But So much stress So many nights crying myself to sleep I've kept in so much I've bitten my tongue so much I teast blood I hold in my breath Im starting to get dizzy spells more and more I'm getting annoyed more and more How can you be so dense? I get it your a loving person I usto be to But I don't want to cuddle all the time in bed I want to go out Plan something for a change ... Don't just use the excuses of Oh I don't have friends Oh I don't go out much Oh I don't know where to begin looking Oh I don't know what you like Oh I don't know if I work Oh I don't have the car today All I hear after every conversation is I'm sorry bby Ik bby I'm sorry I really am sorry Aahhhh!!!! Make it stop I'm tired of the word sorry It gives me so much anxiety .... I feel like I don't matter I'm just second to everything Not a priority.... But no I can't share my emotions because then you start with yours Always saying your a loner Family doesn't really include you Don't have much friends Nothing to talk about Nothing really changes Then I feel like the bad guy I feel like I'm just complaining And that you have to fix it You don't!! Just do something Say something I feel my energy leave my body more and more So much on my plate The wedding The planing Making sure everything goes well Work Socal life and even if you want to call it that Our relationship You don't give me time to cool down You don't give me my space .... Am I rushing into things?