Am I Too Much Heart Or Is It Just Cholesterol

I bash my head on the walls until it cracks open

I let everything pour out soupy and thick

like egg yolks

thoughts and ideas drain from me as they pour down my face

I'm not even sure what it means

It's just a jumbled mess of broken dreams

 

over my eyes they bleed

emotions, memories,wishes

I kiss them goodbye  as they drip over my lips

my tongue sticks out for a small taste

salty and warm

the contents of my head are blue and pulsing

throbbing and aching trying to swallow me

 

I bash my head against the walls some more

this time

everything spills out like water

drenching me in a cold clammy embrace

my eyes dance at the back of my head

spinning spinning I lose balance

 

P

  O

    E

      T

        R

         Y

 

I look at my paper

a messy jumble of words

It's not supposed to make sense

its from my head

my leaky head, dripping out nonsensical things

like dreams, like passions, like this

what the hell is this...

 

I need some duct tape

to patch up these holes in my brain

In myself

to put back all the missing pieces that I was looking for

that were never missing in the first place

before I self destruct from everything bottled up

 

if only I could find the right words

so I don't choke up inside

so I can let everything out how it should be

out of my head

out of my head and onto some paper

what the hell is this?!

 

is that supposed to be me

spilled all over the floor

sliding down poised fingers

curling,winding over a piece of paper

a beating thing to much heart not enough brain

crying out for help

before being silenced by something more loud and vibrant

 

the contents of my brain are pulsing and blue

It sticks to the things I want to keep vibrant and loud

It keeps them under wraps

hush little baby, your wrong it says

so sometimes I have to bash my head on walls

to keep the hungry things out

 

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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