Amateur Self-Expert

I am a teenager
A teenager with high expectations in her high school life which may sound cliche
A high school life filled with cliques and high grades and unusual sleeping patterns
People who are older fear my kind, fear that we are no good
But its not all
What makes us not to fear is empathy and sympathy something some of us lack

I am 5 feet 2 and a half
Which is pretty tall for an Asian
An asian with a dad who cares about her plans for the future
A grandma with high expectations
With a job as a waitress at a family restaurant
With long dark brown hair, a slim figure, and brown eyes.

I am 15… and of course counting
Age 15 sophomore who changed…a lot…  if you compare me to my age 8 third grade self.
Third Grade. Everything was fine in my perspective, no worries, some bullying and problems but nevertheless good.
Forth Grade same.
It was all the same until I hit Seventh Grade.
The year when I had the desire to change, to become quote on quote “more girly”
Hair down, different clothes, different appearance.
Putting myself out there more, risk taking, different mindset.
Eighth Grade. I just wanted to leave middle school, graduating with memories and valedictorian.
High School came along.
Ninth Grade. Sports, JROTC, Band, Top Ten, many friends with some worries but it wasn't easy finding who I am.
Questioning myself if I can have a social life, high grades, and have good sleep at the same time. Some mistakes came through but I thank Buddha that I eventually made it through Ninth Grade
Current. Tenth Grade. Maintaining my reputation of the “perfect” life. Still figuring out some things. Caring about what society thinks but could care less about what they say
Because why should I should change for society and not be happy.
I would rather be happy and do me
I guess I am just confused with what I want I guess… I think I know what is up
But if you were to ask me the question “Describe yourself in one word” I would just be…
Silent.

I am different.
I don’t like the word “normal” or “average” because its just overrated.
I like to have the optimistic feeling in the worst case scenario
We could be facing a dilemma where the chances of something good happening be negative fifty.
Because what can go wrong with having good vibes
Good Vibes, Positive Life, Happy Feeling

I am weird
For not following everyone else
For being naturally random
For not having a filter but have a filter at the same time
For listening to “different” music
For being me

I am I guess I can say happy
I am happy for the friends I have today, tolerating me
Happy for the experiences I have had
Experiences such as exploring and living life
Grateful for things others can’t have
Grateful for the gift of life.

I am a girl
With dreams of being a psychologist
With dreams of finding her love
With dreams that may seem so unreal
That’s why it’s called a dream.
But I plan on making my dream of being a psychologist true.

I dislike feeling vulnerable but I cant help but be vulnerable
I dislike being mean and having the desire making people happy all the time
I dislike seeing people sad and being helpless
I dislike the fact that I procrastinate
I dislike school because it tests my ability to memorize things and not know them. It doesn’t teach me things I need to learn for life

I like being soft and kind to others
I like making people happy and being mean when necessary which is once in a blue moon
Yeah.. I dont like seeing people sad
I dont really care about procrastinating… for now.
I like school because its like the 2nd place close to home

I AM… Jenny.
Look me up in Urban Dictionary under “Different”
“Something everybody is scared to be,for they will be rejected by society if they are…”
“A person who is not afraid to be themselves, instead of following a crowd…”
A weird, different yet happy teenage girl, who’s a sophomore in High School
Who’s life is shaped up by society and events that have happened.