Ambivalent

 Dear Ex-Lover,

I️ love the way you walk 

I️ love the way you talk

I️ love how you unknowingly command the attention of others when you step into a room 

I️ love your smile

I️ love your humor 

I️ love how you made my whole world stop when you looked at me 

I️ loved spending time with you

I️ loved being happy with you

I️ loved how you would whisper sweet nothings that made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world 

I loved when you made me feel better on my worst days

I️ loved when I️ could look into your eyes and knew you loved me just as much as I️ love you 

I️ loved how you made me think you were giving me your all 

But...

I️ hate that you used me

I️ hate that you abused my love 

I hate how you took my insecurities and made me feel less than a human being 

I️ hate your smirk 

I️ hate your anger 

I️ hate how you blatantly disregarded my entire existence in front of others 

I hated trying to defend you to my friends 

I️ hated spending late nights waiting on a text or a call 

I hated how even after all those lonely nights I️ still gave you my all 

I hated when my whole world shattered to pieces when you just up and left 

I️ hated when my hands started bleeding when I started picking up those pieces 

I️ hated how after finally putting myself back together there are still cracks in places I️ just can’t seem to fix no matter how hard I️ try

I️ love that I️ can hate all these things about you

But I️ hate that I️ just can’t stop loving you

 Sincerely,

Your Eternal Concubine