Ana, Her Shadow

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:19 -- Joriley

Location

50842
United States
41° 2' 12.3828" N, 94° 27' 5.9652" W

She can’t remember when it all started,
The day she became insecure.
She used to be so confident,
The one they all adored.
She started looking around at all the other girls,
Comparing herself to them.
They were so pretty and skinny and she used to think,
Why can’t I be that thin?

She’d lock herself in the bathroom,
Late at night so no one heard,
She tried so hard to get rid of it all,
Wouldn't stop though her throat burned.

She’s sickened by her reflection,
Sees everything less than perfection.
She pinches her stomach and then her thighs,
She’s hideous through her eyes.
Ana, her shadow follows her around,
It’d push her and laugh as she fell to the ground.

She had so much going on in life,
Striving for perfection and nothing less,
She felt she wasn't good enough,
Thoughts were overcome by stress.

She was crying in the shower when she saw the razor there,
An escape was what she craved,
The blood dripped down and the water turned red,
And for a moment she felt saved.

She’s sickened by her reflection,
Sees everything less than perfection.
She pinches her stomach and then her thighs,
She’s hideous through her eyes.
Ana, her shadow followed her around,
It’d push her and laugh as she fell to the ground.

Her weight was still staying the same,
No matter how hard she tried,
The thought “Why eat?” crept in one day,
And she pushed the food aside.

“I’m not hungry,” “I already ate,”
Said any lie she could
Her stomach would growl, and she would feel proud,
Anything to lose the weight.

She’s sickened by her reflection,
Sees everything less than perfection.
She pinches her stomach and then her thighs,
She’s hideous through her eyes.
Ana, her shadow followed her around,
It’d push her and laugh as she fell to the ground.

The compliments and jealous stares followed,
It only fueled the fire,
It felt good to be noticed but she still felt big,
And still empty inside.

Her body knew it wasn't good,
But her thoughts set her at ease.
Skinny is pretty, and you've got to get there,
She couldn't fight off this disease.

People were worried, her feelings kept buried,
Felt everything was all right,
The darkness almost got her but then she got stronger,
And she finally saw the light.

So don’t give up yet, do not hide your scars.
Its your actions, not size that defines who you are.
Don’t let the world tell you how you should be,
Just trust yourself, have faith and you will be free.

She now looks at her reflection,
And doesn't expect to see perfection.
She sees her stomach and her thighs, and becomes to realize,
She’s beautiful through her eyes.
And Ana, her shadow still followed her around,
It’d push her but she stood strong and refused to fall down.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741