Analyzing Poetry

April 21, 2013

There he goes again. That man, Walking down the street as if on cue. We all stop and stare. All me, you, that man over there The field trippers over here, We all stop and stare. And scrutinize. Same as last time. Tattered, brownish figure, with dust bunny hair. “gross” you say. “Interesting” I assert “Homeless” the man “Crepp” the fieldtrippers. Yet, he keeps walking, a Slow, tired walk. Still wearing his siren. His neon lighted, sequin tighted jacket. “He’s wearing it cuz he stole it!” assesses kid with bubble gum stuck to his shoe “He’s wearing it because he found it and it reminds him of his youth in the disco days” Says man restraining his retriever. Here we are again. Why is he wearing the jacket? Why does he walk like that? Dress like this? the significance? the purpose? his attitude? We all ask silent questions He never answers silent answers. Or aloud ones For that matter, Aloof and Apathetic, For that matter. Just keeps walking. We’ll never know will we? Yet we all still search Day after day, Stopping in the park “To seek” “To find” Nothing found Mothing yielded. Will we ever stop? Nope. Because we all look, As the mysterious He walks away With each hobbling secretive step. We do, to catch a glimpse Of that mirror in his back pocket, So we can seek, find, yield Ourselves.

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david_mclJun 19, 2013

Hi Kellie, I really like this piece - most of all, because of the interaction between the observers with all their judgments, the comments of the speaker in the poem, and the way the judgments about the "homeless" / "Interesting" / "Crepp" man, gradually becomes a meditation about the observers, and what of themselves they maybe worry about or want to find out. Favorite lines: “Yet, he keeps walking, a  Slow, tired walk.” “We do, to catch a glimpse  Of that mirror in his back pocket,  So we can seek, find, yield  Ourselves.” I like the use of “yield” here, it’s unusual, and for me it makes the line (“seek” and “find” are typical, but you need them too, I think.) Some suggestions: the speaker only makes one comment in the scene, “Interesting”. So, I was wondering, what would it be like if the “We” in the 2nd stanza was “I” instead? If you wanted to play with that, see what happens. One little thing, at the beginning of the poem, “All me, you, that man over there" is a bit confusing, because what I wonder is, are you talking about the man who the poem is about, or another observer. I like the "field trippers"! :) Who are they? Tourists, or locals? Could you develop a bit more observation about them? What I like most about it is that you’ve created a scene successfully, with characters who we get a sense of through their speech and attitude, the dialogue feels realistic; the details of the homeless-seeming man are gritty and ingenious (“dust bunny hair”), and yet elegant, romantic in a certain sense (“Tattered brownish figure”). Even though the scene isn’t exactly “positive”, it’s not despairing, it’s nuanced and complex, as well as humorous, and the viewpoint at the end gives hope because it comes out of a real and somehow spiritual place. I hope this makes sense. Let me know if you’d like me to clarify anything. Finally, the mirror at the end is super-good! It's odd and mysterious, and a new way of treating that metaphor, that we see ourselves, or parts of ourselves, in others (that we project onto others, too.) An elegant and compressed way of getting at a truth - a v cleverly-done image, basically.

13KiWiMay 10, 2013

Kellie, you develop such neat ideas in this poem. I hope you are writing more, and that you will post more on here.

Analyzing Poetry

Kellie Coppola

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