And It Lingers

You hit me from my blind spot

Figuratively, of course.

I never expected someone like you 

And you were so gentle and kind

The opposite of what I had thought I wanted

And the greatest blessing I've experienced.

I cared about you all that time

More intensely and passionately than ever before

or even ever since.

I knew how your past had hurt you

I never wanted to do that to you

Of course it hurt

It always does when 2 people leave eachother

We were both young and stupid

But I prayed you would never hate me

Because I couldn't bear to see you defeated like that

You were prone to manipulation

Because you were such a sweetheart

And I'd told you that

I hesitate to admit it

But I regretted it

Because I wanted to make you mine again

It was the heat of the moment

but I had realized that I care about you so deeply,

even if it hurts me,

I want you to be happy.

You deserve it more than anyone else.

We've both said things we regret

and done things that hurt eachother

but neither of us wanted to

and the fact that we overcame them so completely

makes my heart feel lighter,

If I'm not the one you seek

That's alright

As long as everyone else treats you as I'd like to

Just being friends with you,

supporting your interests,

being the shoulder you can cry on, 

that's more fulfilling for me

than forcing you to do anything.