And then there were none.

You know that really sad movie about the dying dog?

How it makes you feel,

Sad. 

That’s how I feel a majority of the time.

Although the shell seems fine,

does not mean the soul isn’t hurt.

Although, I try again and again,

I cant seem to stop myself from crying at night.

Depression.

Who would have guessed?

A girl wears a smile everyday.

A girl has so many friends.

I finally saw through their bullshit.

“Oh hi ashley.” 

Then wait for me to turn my back.

“I wish she would kill herself.”

I can still hear her when she said that.

I can still hear her.

I will always know those words. 

I was 13.

Depression.

I started to become bitter.

My friends began to drop like flies. 

I saw through their bullshit. 

16.

I was diagnosed with PCOS.

My medicine made me even more depressed..

Thanks. 

I’m defined by the majority of students as

Freak, Fat, and Stupid.

At least those who never took the time to understand me.

Maybe that is why I am bitter.

Its funny because I use to go home and try to cut my stomach

because I thought I could be skinny.

Maybe I am bitter.

I use to go home and read a medical book for 4 hours,

in hope I would become incredibly smart. 

I am bitter,

Because when I look in the mirror,

I see a monster. 

Not a girl.

Symptoms of depression.

Behavioral symptoms:

agitation, excessive crying, irritability, self-harm, or social isolation.

I had all.

My friends began to drop like flies in the winter.

I began to isolate myself. 

I saw through their bullshit.

I knew their bullshit.

Temporary friends.

lasting for only a limited period of time; not permanent.

Thats what my life was slowly becoming. 

That is what I chose for myself. 

17.

This is who I will be for the rest of my life.

Depressed.

a person in a state of general unhappiness and despondency. 

And then there were none.

No one.

Like a desert.

I am finally alone and at peace.