An Angel On a Cloud

As they pulled me out on the exceptionally uncomfortable gurney I squeeze my eyes and fists shut While trying to block out the irritating noises Of the doctors and nurses trying to get from one place to another as fast as possible The shuffle of their feet And loud ear piercing voices intensify the pain I’m in When we got to my room I noticed the only real color That I could tell was in there Was a dull, blue Placed upon the checkered curtains Flowing over the sides of the window Like two long water falls They told me I was lucky Because I have a room all to myself With a view from the glass window But I don’t feel lucky… I’m lonely and haven’t even looked out that window There is a small, elegant table beside my bed With a glowing light on top of it I’m seven years old and I know It’s not my time to go I remember 4 months ago when we started chemo therapy I was embarrassed of my hair loss I could rub my fingers through My long, curly, strawberry blonde locks Look down at my hand And see a bundle of hair Shaped like a rats nest Weaved in and out of every single finger But that was then Now I’m left with no hair, confidence, or the power to fight back As I lay on my plain white bed I close my eyes and take a deep breath I smell a distinct, unusual smell I don’t know what it is But I don’t like it one bit I look like an angel on a cloud I tell myself But I know I’m simply a young, short, hopeless girl with a wild imagination I look back on my life and try to think of all the good I’ve done But surprisingly nothing that important comes to mind In fact, hardly anything comes to mind I feel as though the sorrow and depression that I feel Has taken the twinkle out of my eye The light in my smile And the bounce in my hop I remember the window I try and pretend that the window makes me king And only I have the supremacy and power to look out it And into the sun That fills my room with radiance And shadow All at once The suns eyes brighten the room And he always makes a mysterious entrance I look better into this window filled with vast amounts of knowledge But I am disappointed with what I see Cars, people, house, museums, animals, soaring buildings I am immediately heaved off my high thrown Because all of civilization is staring at me Mocking me Reminding me that they have places to go and things to do While I’m stuck here trying to make the most out of nothing I sink my head in the feathered pillow Close my eyes and refuse to open them Then in the darkness I see a light I try to keep my eyes shut But no such luck There was a bright light coming at me and it wasn’t stopping for anything Finally the brightness overcomes me And I am struck with fear as I look from above and see A small hopeless girl With a wild imagination In a small, unknown, bland room… I am an angel on a cloud I tell myself An angel on a cloud…