Angel Wings

I stood at the edge of the Heaven with my angel wings spread wide

And as I looked down upon Earth I wondered how I died.

I don't remember who I was, who I wanted to be or who I am now,

I only know what my soul, body, and mind will allow.

I close my eyes and take a deep breathe before my descend.

Since I have never flown before, this could be my end.

But the wind lifts the feathers of my wings,

These big, beautiful, majestic things,

And down to safety I am guided. 

But Earth is cold compared to the Heaven I resided. 

Earth is complicated too, I had forgotten that

Hot, cold, loud, quiet, dog, cat

Were just a few of the billion things I had been missing.

I hadn't realized it, but I had been crying

Because I started to remember my past life.

I now understood why it hurt to look at my left hand, I was a wife.

And at that moment, I collapsed to the ground and hid 

Behind my angel wings that cannot rid

The pain and the truth;

I died while saving my little girl, Ruth.

My precious daughter ran in the road

Where no car would of slowed.

My heart beat was fast but my legs were faster

I pushed her out the way and faced a disaster. 

The last thing I heard were my daughter's cries,

The last thing I felt were tears from her eyes, 

And the last thing I saw was my Ruth's beautiful face,

My husband told her I went to a better place. 

The truth is Heaven is like my Hell

Because Earth is where my love could dwell.

I don't feel pain in Paradise, and I also don't feel love

But those are what I miss most of

All because those were the best and worst things to experience

Terrible, but yet full of brilliance.

Being an angel means nothing

When I can't hug my family that meant everything. 

My angel wings are nothing but death to me

Because Earth is where I desire to be and where I should be.

My husband has no wife, my daughter has no mother

My loved ones will never have another.

I cry and cry and cry

I don't want my angel wings to fly.

...I don't want my angel wings to fly..