angels and demons

Dear demon that hides in my body, I'm sitting on my bed, high on medication, starving myself to make me prettier.  As I write my feelings in the ink of red representing the blood that spells 1out when I cut myself.  I then lay under my sheets trying to hide from the outside world.  I lay here naked looking at my body, wishing it was different as my wavy unbrushed hair touches the tips of my nips and my pizza breath is saying I’m an average teenager just like everyone else.  Staring at the turquoise walls thinking what happened to me?; while my nails are painted white,  trying to fool those around me that it represents the pure women I am.  Dear angel that watches above me, I seem to scream but no one hears me  I pray a prayer asking to bandage my cuts on my wrist, although they may be too big, I think a thought of when will my time come.  I ask but forbid me to ask why doesn’t he love me?  If only I was prettier, I sit here like a lump of lard doing nothing that benefits me. My laugh that tortures angels ears; my smile that shines through demon's souls. my booty that attracts the devil upon us. My biggest fear that taunts me is my love for him.. even though i know my demons will always hide in me , and my angels will always watch over me;i will always have to remember when god gives you a no , he was protecting you from less than his best