annoying

There’s a name for whatever this is—

You call it a beautiful agony because you’ve got a lot to lose

I call it a chaotic chemistry to maintain my flow

It was an off-day for you

You didn’t wear a watch, and it made me ask myself

About time

About how much we’ve got

And when we’re going to take this as far as we want to

You didn’t wear your wedding ring, either—

“It was getting annoying,” you told me

Because it kept sliding off during practice

It isn’t annoying because it won’t stay on

(At least, I don’t think)

It’s annoying because you no longer want it

“She hasn’t worn hers in…what, ten years?”

It’s annoying because of me

I know that I belong to you

And you belong to me (though no one else knows these things)

But I often forget that I likely won’t share a name with you

And it pains me, because

We’re good for each other, and I believe you when you say it

But I am not trouble, I’m worse

I’m a Plath poem personified

A red-haired man-eater

I drink you in like air because I need you to live

And you make me forget that I have trouble breathing

You’ve been kissing me for a week as if you’ll never see me again

Like it’ll make the color of your hair come back

And maybe it will, maybe that’s what I’m here to do

Maybe you’ll say you love me too

I know that there’s a name for this

Because I think I’m forgetting my own