another life lost

I can not find why I was always so blind,... 
lost I was with out a clue,.... 
giving up on life the day I met you,.... 
for it was living that was lost,.... 
it was my pride that was the cost,... 
in living like this,... 
with someone and something that,... 
was not there,... 
it was like a genie,... 
in the end rub it three times,... 
make you wish,... 
the only thing was you asked only for more shit,... 
as it swirled and burn,.... 
it was us lost in the urn,.... 
of sorrow filled night,.... 
fucking and fighting,... 
shit was frighting,... 
yet it continued,... 
all in the haze,... 
of what put us in the maze,.... 
of crazed life each day,...
passed through us bleeding our souls,... 
the violent sex was all you craved,.... 
depress & fucked it made your day,... 
why live a lie when the soul has die .. 
after you thought I had found the glue,... 
not violence peaceful sex,... 
and everything was addressed,.... 
then out came the pistol whipping,... 
the shit into a frenzy,... 
was the end the beginning,... 
of what was to never,... 
truly be real love,.... 
for the love as we spoke,.. 
was you looking for another toke,... 
of anything you could,... 
like a stranger you kept love in danger,... 
lost is the light,.... 
you used to bring at first sight,... 
then came the reason,.... 
I could feel your treason,.... 
to self to me and to us,... 
what kind of bs was this again,..
I am lost so I hit the bus,... 
and said goodbye,.... 
for lost was even the lust,... 
for you and all the bullshit you found,... 
to be true yes it is my fault,... 
I have driven the train,... 
on many a wrecks,.... 
I can write and sing the blues,.... 
I left cuz there was no counting on you,... 
to be what was a fuck,.... 
and dirty dream of socially inept lives.... 
that is my reasons for now I will never cry.... 
for what I never wanted and always had..... 
a sweet woman going mad..... 

with both hands held tight to a bag.....