Another Spin

Another spin around the bottom of lake

Raking up dirt and dust baked

Dancing in a dream and falling into grass blankets

Once again asleep

I was alive again

Full of energy and ready to run

And then it broke again

Another thing to follow

A reason to obey

The cycle began and the lies were spun

But which came first?

The sleep pulls as everything becomes tired

No longer fully awake but wishing to return to the living light

Spastically dancing in the dark or bright

Dazed and confused and pulled away from the wheel

Knowing what must be done

But what must be done must cause pain

Pain always comes from these decisions

Simple decisions involving the best drug

The wonderful, perfect, most powerful love

But love pulls and love pushes all at once

One for you and one for you and one for them all

How much left for me?

The dust at the bottom left to kick up and play in

Wondering if I'm worth fighting for

And knowing it would be too much to give up part of yourself for me

On either side, one must give

And I am nothing but the glue that binds together two opposing forces

Destined to be ripped apart by the very things that I hold so dear trying to get what I want

But is what I want even worth it?

Too poor, too old, too wrong

But if I am happy and it doesn't feel wrong then why must it be classified as such?

So much mess and chaos spinning in my spinning mind

My spinning heart

My spinning life

Spinning so hard the waters are rough and spilling over the edges

So I hold on tightly to my other half, hold my hand tenderly

And say hello as everyone else spins by