anxiety

I used to think I was a good writer

My creativity used to flow from

Head to hand to pen to paper

But then it just stopped

Abruptly and altogether

Dear Brain,

Why did the thoughts stop flowing

Why did I become a mindless drone

Obsessed with my phone?

I know that I’m not alone

Yet it doesn’t bring me comfort

To be just like everybody else

I’m not extraordinary anymore

I am no longer special

So why even try,

That was day I surrendered

Surrendering my dreams and goals and confidence

Surrendering my individuality

Surrendering myself to my thoughts

I accepted my fate

I wave my white flag of surrender slowly

As I drift away

Further and further from the person I used to be

Thoughts cloud my mind with doubt

And worry makes itself a home

I worry constantly about things I can’t control

I want to be in control

It’s my OCD that makes me this way

Obsessive, Compulsive, but that’s okay

Right?

I’m not crazy right?

This is normal right?

Everyone else is worried about not being enough

Yet Anxiety knocks on my door

Oh he’s no stranger

Walks right in

Makes himself comfortable for his stayin

He reminds me of my flaws and inadequacies

And I politely ask him to leave

Please, please, please

But he never listens

I’m constantly under attack

Anxiety does not hold back

Reminding me of all I lack

There is no means for me to fight back

Because I just can’t

I’m in an uphill battle

and I am losing

Waving my white flag once again

As I surrender to the voices in my head

Congratulations,

I’m done

Anxiety: One

Me: None