Anxiety

i descend in my seat, waiting for the lesson to begin

looking around, all I see is desert

a desert so dry and empty yet so full of people i may never see again 

The clock is ticking time is passing

why is it going so slow

i sit as i row my boat along a river of uncertainty 

am i really prepared? am i running out of the paper i shared with everyone in the classroom because I’m too nice? 

is my pen running out of ink from all those times i sat by the sit vomiting my words onto paper?

I’m overthinking

my hands are shaking 

my heart is racing 

and can i ask why is the room so hot?

except that it's not

my body is blazing 

my pits are getting wet

can they see my sweat?

the room is spinning, my pen a wobbly mess

gasping for air as if they're my very last breaths

tears threaten to spill like an ice cream cone on a sunny day

but a sunny day is far from true

because i know a storm is coming my way

maybe lasting a day that'll feel like centuries 

”are you okay” she asks

well what gave it away?

the tears running down my face 

or the motion of my trembling body

everybody's staring

stop staring

i’m fine, i promise

although every promise can't be kept

i’m swimming underwater grasping for surface 

yet, surface seems so far; i’m drowning 

in my own mind; but i will always find a way out

until another day starts again