Anxiety vs My One Need

  I am sitting in this house, as alone as I could possibly be at the moment.

Trying, no, scraping my brain to think of what could possibly be my number one need.                                                                    

Even though music is my life, I've been without it before and despite how dark as that experience was,  I lived.

I've been without family due to either divorce papers, personality differences or my own self-isolation.

I can go weeks without Wi-fi, my phone, my laptop, my tablet, super stylish clothes and make-up.

As much as I love shoes and food, I can deal with one pair and one meal if necessary.

I guess that all I truly need in life is certainty.

Certainty that I wont end up broke and on the street after the endless studying, countless essays and constantly working for tuition to graduate with my major.

Certainty that ,while I'm states away for college, my boyfriend will stay faithful to me and that we can survive the four years that I'm gone.

Certainty that even though I'm a woman, that I wont be a target for some sick predator's fantasy.

Certainty that although I'm a black woman, I wont get assaulted and slaughtered by a wolf in a badge on a power trip.

Certainty that I will be heard. 

Certainty that I wont be a failure.

Certainty that my anxiety wont consume me.

Certainty that my depression wont kill me.

But because of the reality of life's unpredictable nature,

I will always be in need.