Anxiety Wall

Living with anxiety is like living in an invisible box. It has 7 walls, one for every day of the week and a glass ceiling to remind you that you’ll never escape. The box’s name is fear. The walls make it appear to those outside that you are happy, that you are normal, that you are content with your situation. From the inside it makes every interaction seem like exercise, makes every conversation a marathon, and leaves you exhausted. If you want to reach out to someone, if you want to get help, if you want to form a new relationship, you can’t. The box is soundproof, fear is sound proof. On the inside you are punching the walls and screaming at the top of your lungs until you lose your voice, but no one can hear you. You are alone. Fear surrounds you on all sides and no one even knows you are trapped. Even on days when the walls are thinnest and you are able to speak, fear can distort. Your words become a jumble of alphabet soup trying to piece it together as fast as possible while the soup is spilling everywhere. It can distort what you hear too, making friendly gestures seem like challenges and making normal interactions feel like exclusion or aggression. Overtime fear will isolate you, hide you away more and more until you’re the only one you have left. Fear wants you to feel broken, fear wants to tear you down, fear wants you to be alone, but I never said fear was bullet proof. Break it, shatter the walls like glass, shed your skin of terror, and step out into the world. All you need to do is to hold on, never let it win, and find a friend willing to help you fight it.