apart

Separated we believed we would be better

better apart than together

in each others space we were trapped, enclosed

not allowed to grow, to breathe

We suffocated each other 

Drowning each other in our own pain

But yet no one wanted to go 

Not for love but 

Scared of the unknown spaces that would appear when our presence were no longer taking it up 

Scared of being alone 

But deep down i knew it was better to be alone then to stay somewhere you didn't belong 

I didn't belong 

So i said goodbye 

Not to him but our memories, our future we built on the little hope we had, the love that we believed was stronger than any goodbye

I said goodbye to the illusion, the dream, the fantasy that i created in my head 

I choose myself over comfortability, codependency  

And the reminder roaming in my head when his presences appears or comes into view 

When i hear his voice, his laugh

Wanting to forget 

Wanting to be the reason he laughs 

The person he talks too 

I remember the feeling of water filling my lungs 

I remember the voices I would allow to fill my head, taunting me, echoing words that soon allowed me to realize why I choose to say goodbye.