Apartment 311(you disgust me)

You're sick in the head, 
your entire being is dark as night
How can you do the things you do 
and think its right?
 

Does exploiting children really make you feel that much more complete?
Because what you did took so much life from me.

When someone is too young to know what you're doing is disturbingly wrong,
And by the time they realize it, it's been way too long.
Too much time that passed, who would believe it?
I had to keep it to myself, attempt to forget.
Then to keep hanging out around my home and family,
You pushed me away from being a part of something happy.

I became a lost soul, with no place to call home.
With no love to give, and none to call my own.
Drugs helped ease the inner pain
I just wanted to forget the life you've drained.

Years pass and the drugs don't help the way they did.
To feel like such a complete waste, so my life I tried to rid.
I'm still here though, I guess there must be some purpose for this.

Some days all I want to do is cry-
Knowing my parents think it's their fault, that's just a complete lie

I love you mom and dad
You two should never feel like you did anything bad.
It really has nothing to do with either of you, I've just been really sad.
I've been sad and lost, I don't know how to tell either of you this,
Just know that my love and appreciation for all you guys do is endless.

I've been looking for a way out of this dark hole
After all these years stumbling I realize I still have my soul
I still shine, give love, and have hope

I may be damaged, nothing to be proud of, and stubborn
But now I'm starting to see what others always seen,
I'm capable of anything I set to achieve.
After all these years of blindly surrendering to self-defeat.

You may have controlled my life,

and I don't even wish for you any harm, not even a slit from a knife

All I hope is that you don't continue destroying innocence like mine, so recklessly
This is it, I need to be free
I beg these ghosts to stop haunting me.

But there is one thing that will never change no matter what may be.
You will always fucking disgust me.