apathetic familiarity

i can’t wait to hold you in my arms and feel your skin on my skin and i can’t wait to realize that you didn’t wear your cologne even though it’s your favorite because you know i’m not a fan i can’t wait for the taste of your skin the way you always shave your chest and how much i love/hate it the familiar places you always put your fingertips and how it’s always the same exact spots even after all these years of casual 3 a.m. what are you up to’s how you always wait until we’ve had a real conversation to kiss me how you ask about my life and pretend you care how i’ll never love you and that’s perfectly okay i’m not ready for love right now anyways so for now it’s just you and me and i’ve never been so excited to not be held after we’re done or to your brutal honesty and my general disinterest as i pretend to believe that you’re just about to turn your life around, just you wait i need a little familiarity a little indifference as i can comfortably go about the rest of my week knowing you’ll never love me i’ll never love you and it’s best that way