I don’t know if I hurt you
I might never know. But still… I am sorry.
Sorry that I lost a friendship so precious, so pure.
That I couldn’t have been better, clearer, less confusing
That I let my thoughts become my enemies, over analyzing everything
That I forgot how to connect with you. I’m sorry that I was-
No- AM selfish… I’m still learning.
I’m sorry that I hurt you
That I hurt myself-
I’ll take the blame for that, because I couldn’t ever bring myself to blame you… Not truly.
I want you to know…
To know that I don’t hate you
No matter how much I hurt, how abandoned I felt,
I know you never wanted to hurt me. I want you to know…
I have healed. And honestly, I am better for having hurt.
I wouldn’t change what happened for the world
It taught me so much about life
I am learning
For the years of friendship,
For being so kind, for listening to me
For putting up with my shit. Thank you for the laughter
The joy, the way we would chat as we ambled through the grass
Our conversation as lazy and directionless as our feet
And most especially… Thank you for not pushing me
To do something I wasn’t ready for
I needed that
I wish you well
I hope you find someone
That loves you more than I ever could
That treasures you
Like I could not