Apology

by KARISELIZ

January 25, 2018

You will know who you are

Whether these words are for You to forgive but never forget

Or whether You are just like me

But maybe you don’t want to be like me

I understand why, I didn’t want to be like me either

But it is time I own up.

Whoever you are

This is for you

I Want to apologize for

The lies, deceit, corruption

from discriminators, lawmakers, congregators

But I can’t

It is time I own up

I live a comfortable life

No sin in that

My two parents

tuck me in goodnight

No sin in that

My family’s pale skin is more of a grey area

Underneath is an filth and grime

a virus that has infested my being

It’s spread to the brain

The center of all thoughts

I pretend its not there

I pretend it’s only something belonging to men in conical hats

I pretend there’s no cure

But it is time to find one

I never meant to be a robot

Saying what they tell me to

Programmed to think

and act

and function

a certain way

the way they want

I want to retreat back to the youth inside

But now I can see

A distortion put on my image of the world

a filter

a shame fills me of how naive it was

to think it looked “right”

I looked at myself through a lense that was too artificial

I looked at the world like I understood the meaning behind every image

Of course, it was subtle

No one around me noticed the filter

An invisible but

Deeply embedded programing

The sickness spread

It controlled

not everything

Just what It needed

My hacking started small

it was ignored

Until, It became too big

too overtaking

whose fault is it

I refused treatment

But blame could be place

On the source of all evil

Or I could heal

Step one. Acknowledge there is a problem.

Check

Step two. Sort through the virus.

Almost Check

Step three. Block the hacker.

Check

Step four. Repair the damage done.

It was easier to ignore.

I'm sorry

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